Oxymorons

Ever noticed that it's simply impossible to find seriously funny oxymorons online? The only choice is to ask one of those paid volunteers at the library – the ones in the long-sleeved T-shirts – for an original copy of some obviously obscure documents that were found missing amongst some paperwork almost exactly one hundred years ago.

Notice anything strange about the paragraph above? It makes some sort of sense, yet it's riddled with contradictions (in blue). These are oxymorons. Here are some more:

    * Jumbo Shrimp
    * Same Difference
    * Pretty Ugly
    * Definite Maybe
    * Show me more funny oxymorons!

Oxymoron Example List

Here are our top 36 favourite oxymorons – oxymorons in a loose sense of the word:

open secret     larger half     clearly confused
act naturally     alone together     Hell's Angels
found missing     liquid gas     civil engineer
deafening silence     seriously funny     living dead
Microsoft Works     military intelligence     jumbo shrimp
Advanced BASIC     tragic comedy     unbiased opinion
virtual reality     definite maybe     original copies
pretty ugly     same difference     plastic glasses
almost exactly     constant variable     even odds
minor crisis     extinct life     genuine imitation
exact estimate     only choice     freezer burn
free love     working holiday     rolling stop

Your Funny Oxymorons
Here's a selection of some of the best oxymorons that have been sent to us by our visitors:

Great Depression     free trade     peacekeeper missile
sweet tart     crash landing     now then
butt head     sweet sorrow     student teacher
silent scream     taped live     alone together
good grief     tight slacks     living dead
near miss     light tanks     old news
hot chilli     criminal justice     peace force

Perhaps you agree some of these could be oxymorons too!

    * Military Intelligence
    * Microsoft Works
    * Civil Engineer
    * Click for more oxymorons!

Shakespeare and Oxymorons
William Shakespeare loved to play with words. In A Midsummer Night's Dream Theseus speaks these oxymoronic words (Act V, Scene I):

"A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus
And his love Thisby; very tragical mirth.'
Merry and tragical! tedious and brief!
That is hot ice and wondrous strange snow."